Ten Reasons I’m Not Voting in this Year’s Election

I'm not voting for president this year. Here are ten reasons why.

(How's that for a mother-grabbing introduction?)

10. I Hate Both Candidates
One’s a marketing genius of a liar who talks about freedom while planning how to give what little freedom we have left to the international cultures and the other is a shitty liar who plans on doing whatever the lobbyists say. Yawn.

9. I am a Great Citizen
What better way to represent this fat, stupid, apathetic populous than by watching Family Guy while stuffing down genetically modified, high-fructose-corn-syrup-filled eats? I mean, that’s who we really are anyway. Why pretend?

8. Fiat Money
No one wants to get on the gold standard. Everyone wants to keep centralized banking and government controlled money. No one in this country or abroad questions the stupidity of having our rulers define our worth. This world sucks.

7. There is No Difference Between Republicans and Democrats
They may talk a good game, but they’re both part of the same collectivist mindset. They both voted for wars in Iraq, they both approved NATO and the UN, they both let Vietnam happen, they both voted to give the Panama Canal back to Panama. They both do the exact same thing in different ways: propagate socialism. They argue over things like abortion, a legal issue they are powerless to change and other semantics, such as (in the last presidential election) who did what in Vietnam.

The truth is, and it is an obvious truth, all they want is more power for centralized world organizations. They simply want to continue to rule, and by making you believe that they are different, they do exactly that. There is a reason nothing changes and that is because, whether you call them democrats or republicans, our elected leaders are world socialists with the goal of propogating a centralized rule.

And if you don’t believe me, answer this question: What is the difference between democrats and republicans?

Some say that republicans want less government. But they’ve been just as responsible for government sponsored enteties and increased government regulation and supervision as have the democrats. Others say the democrats don’t want war, but they’re just as responsible for starting wars as any other party. The truth is, and it may sting you because it means you have been duped but it’s still true, there is no difference between the two. The alleged differences are a smoke screen for the truth, which is their similarities.

6. The Last Time I Voted, my Home State Didn’t have me on Record
Been registered here for twelve years now. And they didn’t have me on record. That, my friends, is some shitty organizing.

5. Rigged Election Booths
Isn’t it funny how it was blatantly obvious that the last election was rigged and yet the Democrats barely even challenged the outcome? Yeah, that’s because there was nothing to challenge. Both sides agree that Bush is doing a great job of pushing collectivist philosophies upon us while tricking us into giving up personal freedoms. Gotta hand it to the man. He is good.

4. I’d Rather Watch Television
Seriously. Stand in a line. Fill out forms. Push buttons and whatnot. Seems like a lot of work to accomplish nothing.

3. Jesus is My President
Dude never taxed anyone. I can get behind that.

2. I Love Iran
Just kidding.

1. I Plan on Getting Drunk that Afternoon
You know how they let you get off work to go vote? Well, they don’t have to know that to me “voting” means “drinking away my hatred for collectivist thinking.”

I really don’t think this country’s gonna let me hang out around here much longer.